This video requires a membership to the Siren Clip Library. Please log in if you are a member or purchase a subscription.

Attachment in Practice – attachment in the making

A look at attachment in the making from 2 to 8 months including: Understanding the baby, developing preferences and emotional regulation.

Good for looking at

Gradually developing preferences
Synchronising responses
Regulation of emotions
5 month old baby happy to be left with stranger
6 month old baby with child minder
Reunion behaviour with mother

00:05: Hiya girl, you getting out then?
00:07: Here's Laila, who is 5 months old
00:09: with her Mother Jess.
00:12: shall we go downstairs and see Jamie?
00:13: During the next few months,
00:15: more complex patterns of interaction
00:17: with the carer will become established,
00:19: and the baby will beging to show preferences
00:21: for particular people as attachment starts to develop.
00:27: There are now lots of subtle signals that the baby uses.
00:30: There you go.
00:31: Mothers usually respond almost without thinking
00:34: synchronizing their response to the baby's signals.
00:37: Yeah.
00:39: Laila flaps her hands excitedly,
00:42: and Jess responds.
00:42: Oh, Oh, put your leg down,
00:46: put your leg down, there you go, that's it,
00:52: buttons, oh, oh.
00:56: Laila makes a noise and Jess acknowledges it.
01:01: Mm-mm, Ah-ha.
01:04: As if to say "I know what you mean."
01:06: Put your leg in,
01:08: a bit hard to get on these aren't these, a bit small.
01:16: There you go.
01:17: Laila grizzles and is unhappy
01:19: and Jess empathizes straight away.
01:23: Oh, what's wrong?
01:30: Oh Laila, Laila, what's the matter?
01:35: Nearly done, there you go, all done.
01:43: That better?
01:44: Put the nappy in the bin.
01:49: Oh what's the matter?
01:51: What's the matter eh?
01:53: The skill sensitive, responsive parents have
01:57: is something that you call mind mindedness, or mindfulness.
02:01: Some people call it reflective function.
02:03: And what it is is essentially the ability
02:06: to put yourself into the baby's head and work out
02:10: "What is he thinking, What is he saying?"
02:13: and so on.
02:16: Often, there are two kinds of signals, one is
02:20: "Calm me down, comfort me, soothe me.
02:22: "If I'm distressed I don't care what you do,
02:25: "whether you need to change me, whether you need to feed me,
02:28: "whether you need to burp me, but please do it
02:31: "and do it as quickly as you can, because I'm dying here."
02:35: Is in a sense what the baby I saying.
02:37: And once the baby is calm and alert,
02:41: and perhaps you know, not sleepy and just wanting to nod off
02:46: but ready to interact, that's what the baby's saying,
02:49: "Play with me, I want you to imitate me,
02:57: "I want you to stick your tongue out at me
02:59: "if I stick my tongue out at you,
03:08: And if you do, as a parent, babies love it,
03:11: they absolutely love it.
03:26: Whilst Jess is doing other things,
03:29: Laila watches her carefully,
03:36: because Jess has responded quickly and sensitively to her
03:40: Laila's learning what's called emotional regulation.
03:43: Instead of getting very distressed
03:45: and reacting immediately when something's wrong,
03:48: her past experience tells her that she can wait a bit.
03:52: She's learning that someone will come and comfort her
03:55: and sort things out.
03:57: Juice on the floor.
04:01: Jess is becoming the safe base
04:03: from where Laila will be able to explore the world.
04:08: At five months Laila is beginning to have a preference
04:11: for Jess, although she's still generally sociable
04:14: with other people.
04:15: How you doing?
04:17: And is happy to smile at them,
04:18: even at strangers.
04:22: Oh that's a nice smile.
04:25: That was a lovey smile.
04:31: Yes I'm pleased to see you as well.
04:34: She turns to Jess, for reassurance.
04:37: Although not yet fully attached to Jess,
04:39: her preference for her is obvious.
04:42: I'm just eating toast, yeah I am.
04:45: Good old Mam.
04:48: And when left with another stranger,
04:50: Laila is a bit wary,
04:54: but doesn't object to being picked up.
04:57: Pick up, yeah?
05:00: Do you want picking up?
05:01: Hello.
05:06: Oh, hiya, hiya.
05:12: Hello.
05:14: I'm not your mummy am I?
05:22: Laila's now six month old
05:23: and Jess is going back to work.
05:24: Come in.
05:30: So she's chosen a child minder for Laila.
05:32: Laila greets Jess very positively
05:33: when she comes to pick her up.
05:34: Hey Laila.
05:35: Who's that?
05:37: One of the signs that she's developing
05:37: There's mummy.
05:39: We've a had a lovely day haven't we?
05:43: We've had a lovely day, very chirpy.
05:47: Don't you go waking up in the middle of the night.
05:51: Babies often have to be left with child minders
05:54: or at nurseries and it seem that,
05:56: if the infant is given a special person,
05:58: who's sensitive to their needs and knows them well,
06:02: then the child can develop a real relationship
06:04: with another attachment figure.
06:08: For the infant to feel secure, the same interactions
06:12: as with their main carer are important,
06:14: sensitivity, empathy and love.
06:21: So Laila can have more tha one attachment figure,
06:25: but there'll be a hierarchy of preferences,
06:27: and Jess will remain the most important.