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Attachment in Practice – attachment in the making
A look at attachment in the making from 2 to 8 months including: Understanding the baby, developing preferences and emotional regulation.Good for looking at
- Gradually developing preferences
- Synchronising responses
- Regulation of emotions
- 5 month old baby happy to be left with stranger
- 6 month old baby with child minder
- Reunion behaviour with mother
- 00:05
- Hiya girl, you getting out then?
- 00:07
- Here's Laila, who is 5 months old
- 00:09
- with her Mother Jess.
- 00:12
- shall we go downstairs and see Jamie?
- 00:13
- During the next few months,
- 00:15
- more complex patterns of interaction
- 00:17
- with the carer will become established,
- 00:19
- and the baby will beging to show preferences
- 00:21
- for particular people as attachment starts to develop.
- 00:27
- There are now lots of subtle signals that the baby uses.
- 00:30
- There you go.
- 00:31
- Mothers usually respond almost without thinking
- 00:34
- synchronizing their response to the baby's signals.
- 00:37
- Yeah.
- 00:39
- Laila flaps her hands excitedly,
- 00:42
- and Jess responds.
- 00:42
- Oh, Oh, put your leg down,
- 00:46
- put your leg down, there you go, that's it,
- 00:52
- buttons, oh, oh.
- 00:56
- Laila makes a noise and Jess acknowledges it.
- 01:01
- Mm-mm, Ah-ha.
- 01:04
- As if to say "I know what you mean."
- 01:06
- Put your leg in,
- 01:08
- a bit hard to get on these aren't these, a bit small.
- 01:16
- There you go.
- 01:17
- Laila grizzles and is unhappy
- 01:19
- and Jess empathizes straight away.
- 01:23
- Oh, what's wrong?
- 01:30
- Oh Laila, Laila, what's the matter?
- 01:35
- Nearly done, there you go, all done.
- 01:43
- That better?
- 01:44
- Put the nappy in the bin.
- 01:49
- Oh what's the matter?
- 01:51
- What's the matter eh?
- 01:53
- The skill sensitive, responsive parents have
- 01:57
- is something that you call mind mindedness, or mindfulness.
- 02:01
- Some people call it reflective function.
- 02:03
- And what it is is essentially the ability
- 02:06
- to put yourself into the baby's head and work out
- 02:10
- "What is he thinking, What is he saying?"
- 02:13
- and so on.
- 02:16
- Often, there are two kinds of signals, one is
- 02:20
- "Calm me down, comfort me, soothe me.
- 02:22
- "If I'm distressed I don't care what you do,
- 02:25
- "whether you need to change me, whether you need to feed me,
- 02:28
- "whether you need to burp me, but please do it
- 02:31
- "and do it as quickly as you can, because I'm dying here."
- 02:35
- Is in a sense what the baby I saying.
- 02:37
- And once the baby is calm and alert,
- 02:41
- and perhaps you know, not sleepy and just wanting to nod off
- 02:46
- but ready to interact, that's what the baby's saying,
- 02:49
- "Play with me, I want you to imitate me,
- 02:57
- "I want you to stick your tongue out at me
- 02:59
- "if I stick my tongue out at you,
- 03:08
- And if you do, as a parent, babies love it,
- 03:11
- they absolutely love it.
- 03:26
- Whilst Jess is doing other things,
- 03:29
- Laila watches her carefully,
- 03:36
- because Jess has responded quickly and sensitively to her
- 03:40
- Laila's learning what's called emotional regulation.
- 03:43
- Instead of getting very distressed
- 03:45
- and reacting immediately when something's wrong,
- 03:48
- her past experience tells her that she can wait a bit.
- 03:52
- She's learning that someone will come and comfort her
- 03:55
- and sort things out.
- 03:57
- Juice on the floor.
- 04:01
- Jess is becoming the safe base
- 04:03
- from where Laila will be able to explore the world.
- 04:08
- At five months Laila is beginning to have a preference
- 04:11
- for Jess, although she's still generally sociable
- 04:14
- with other people.
- 04:15
- How you doing?
- 04:17
- And is happy to smile at them,
- 04:18
- even at strangers.
- 04:22
- Oh that's a nice smile.
- 04:25
- That was a lovey smile.
- 04:31
- Yes I'm pleased to see you as well.
- 04:34
- She turns to Jess, for reassurance.
- 04:37
- Although not yet fully attached to Jess,
- 04:39
- her preference for her is obvious.
- 04:42
- I'm just eating toast, yeah I am.
- 04:45
- Good old Mam.
- 04:48
- And when left with another stranger,
- 04:50
- Laila is a bit wary,
- 04:54
- but doesn't object to being picked up.
- 04:57
- Pick up, yeah?
- 05:00
- Do you want picking up?
- 05:01
- Hello.
- 05:06
- Oh, hiya, hiya.
- 05:12
- Hello.
- 05:14
- I'm not your mummy am I?
- 05:22
- Laila's now six month old
- 05:23
- and Jess is going back to work.
- 05:24
- Come in.
- 05:30
- So she's chosen a child minder for Laila.
- 05:32
- Laila greets Jess very positively
- 05:33
- when she comes to pick her up.
- 05:34
- Hey Laila.
- 05:35
- Who's that?
- 05:37
- One of the signs that she's developing
- 05:37
- There's mummy.
- 05:39
- We've a had a lovely day haven't we?
- 05:43
- We've had a lovely day, very chirpy.
- 05:47
- Don't you go waking up in the middle of the night.
- 05:51
- Babies often have to be left with child minders
- 05:54
- or at nurseries and it seem that,
- 05:56
- if the infant is given a special person,
- 05:58
- who's sensitive to their needs and knows them well,
- 06:02
- then the child can develop a real relationship
- 06:04
- with another attachment figure.
- 06:08
- For the infant to feel secure, the same interactions
- 06:12
- as with their main carer are important,
- 06:14
- sensitivity, empathy and love.
- 06:21
- So Laila can have more tha one attachment figure,
- 06:25
- but there'll be a hierarchy of preferences,
- 06:27
- and Jess will remain the most important.